Chocolate milk does an athlete’s body good? The latest research on a childhood fave.

You’ve heard him: those porn-like grunts; the grating screams of chains dog-piling on top of each other; the head-butting of tons of heavy iron against…more tons of heavy iron; blaring beats at next-door-night-club decibel levels advertising his music taste; even the almost-audible throbbing of his veins painting his body like a corrugated road-map. It’s “that guy” at the gym: conductor of Cacophonous Symphony, demanding you to listen, hoping that you’ll envy, and expecting that you’ll judge.

Enough people have slammed on “that guy.” He puts tuna in his oatmeal. He deadlifts his car for fun. He brings chicken breasts to movies as snacks. And he wouldn’t be caught dead in the gym without his beloved protein shake, either the home-spun version found in some measuring Tupperware-like bottle, or the Muscle Milks that are typically sold at the gym’s front desk.

But can we learn something from “that guy”? And what would happen if he saved 3.75 on his Muscle Milk or 44.98 on his Whey protein powder and just rolled with some 99 cent Moo-tastic chocolate milk instead (oh, the image-detonating horrors!) And while we’re at it, what’s up with chocolate milk for the rest of us who don’t bench press the weight of an adolescent polar bear?

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“Does milk give you boobs?” and other udderly important questions about dairy. Part 1!

Sixteen. I did not get my period until I was 16.  I could legally drive a car before I was even beginning to become something that wouldn’t resemble a boy with braids or a sheet of cardboard stuck atop two beanpoles. My doctor thought it was because I was too active and skinny, so my mom started making me huge bi-daily milkshakes. A little less than a month later, I finally got it.

“Oh, it’s the hormones” all my mom’s friends knowingly nodded. (Why they were all sitting around discussing my menses is not the topic of this blog, albeit a legitimate question.) Were they right? Is there estrogen in milk, and can it cause little girls to grow up / guys to get C-cups / people to get cancer / and hey, while we’re at it, serve as a cheap form of birth control?  Continue reading